the Lord is moving…always

In recent days, I have been selling books. Not just any books, like I used to do when I worked for LifeWay Christian Store (oh, how good the past tense verb in that clause feels!); rather, I have been selling my own books. If someone asked me why I am selling books, I would probably be able to conjure up some answers about needing some extra cash or lightening the load if I am commanded to move in the near future. But as I ask myself the question, I am uncertain that those are the real, bottom-line answers. Perhaps, there is a more fundamental reason why the Lord would have me to be selling books, right now, at this particular time in my life. Everyone who knows me well could characterize me as a bibliophile, and rightfully so. My living room walls are quite literally covered with books. Maybe the Lord is pleased when I redecorate…

 This week has been a trying week for Tamara and me. My beloved wife expresses her frustrations as we have stepped forward, ever so feebly by faith, making contact with a hospital in Wheaton. In addition, we have e-mailed someone who works at Wheaton College (2 different people, now that I think of it) to seek advice as to what the nursing landscape looks like in the area. We have received no replies as of the time of this posting. No return phone calls. No e-mail responses. While at work, she calls me to see if we have received anything in our inbox, and my negative response elicits a sigh from my wife and trepidation-filled words like, “Well, God must be closing the door.” My poor attempt at encouragement probably sounds to her like a rebuke, and perhaps it is a rebuke as I am hard-pressed to find the distinction between rebuke and encouragement sometimes. “Patience, my dear. We must be patient. Let us not draw conclusions from silence.” Is my statement full of faith or does it disclose my own insecurity about it all?
Oh, Lord, help us to wait on you. You are moving; you are never idle. And you have us exactly where you want us. And you will take us where you want us to be when you want us to be there. Take us soon…

Is it possible that in selling some of my books the Lord might be setting me free from some obsession that I have? Maybe. I must acknowledge, however, that I have been extremely selective as to which books I am selling. Only books that I now think I will never have the least desire to read, or that I have already read and feel that I can no longer glean anything from them are to be discarded. Still, perhaps the Lord is taking me somewhere in my faith but only a small step at a time. Ah, how kind he is! His goodness overflows even as he is gently tearing me apart. ‘Tis for my sanctification.

Published in: on April 3, 2008 at 10:31 pm  Comments (1)  

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  1. Who can blame you if you get rid of the accumulated junk? What’s sad is that someone else will buy it. If it were me, I’d want to keep the problems elsewhere – and just burn the books. Call me a Socialist or Nazi. Honestly, keeping 90 minutes out of a heaven, whose time is based on a little thing called eternity, wouldn’t hurt my heart at all.

    Silence is truly the most amazing sound of God, I’ve found. There, we see our hearts: and we get to see his a little closer. We stare at his promises – and get to find how those promises will enact themselves upon our plans. Returned phone calls are not what you’re seeking. Remember the end, the end of all this is faith in God. If you have that, what else would you need?


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