another year

Birthdays are always contemplative days for me. I enjoy reviewing what God has done for me over the past year and begin to think through hopes and dreams for the coming year.

This 24th full year of life has been filled with all kinds of change, growth, and suffering. I left Texas for the first time as a permanent move to begin graduate school. In the midst of preparing to move, our house in Texas was flooded, and my wife and celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary. Change, growth, and suffering all wrapped up into these events.

Now, I sit excited about a snowy men’s retreat with a group of men whom I’ve only known for a few weeks. These men have given me the community I have desired. God uses these men to help me grow, and, hopefully, God will use me in their lives as well.

Next year, I begin graduate school full time. This excites me and makes me nervous. I won’t be working at the same time. This presents a multiplicity of new opportunities for temptation, being home alone more often. Mostly, I find myself tempted to remain lethargic, sleeping or watching movies when I ought to be reading, writing, and researching. I pray the Lord will fortify the weapons of my warfare and solidify the armor of God in my life.

I have already begun a massive research project, completely independent of school or any other responsibilities. I have begun to attempt to develop a biblical theology of sin. The question, “How does sin affect my relationship with God as a believer?” still weighs heavily on my heart and mind. I am in the beginning stages of collating the data from the Scriptures, reading all the passages that use the Greek terms for sin in the LXX and the NT. I have already traced the usages in the ancient world up to the time of the LXX, and I have had difficutly ascertaining when or how ἁμαρτία, for example, began to be used for offenses in a moral sense. In many Greek historical sources from the 3rd through 5th centuries B.C., it is used in military contexts in which some general or army made a strategical mistake on the battlefield. In English translations of these works, the most common translation of the term is “blunder.” At any rate, I am eager to pursue this further. So far, all that I have concluded is that preachers need to cease speaking of ἁμαρτία as “missing the mark.” Granted, this word did have that meaning, in contexts of archery and other similar contexts, in Homer, for example. But after the 8th century B.C., with Homer, I have not found a single attestation of that meaning again. It is deceptive and unhelpful to state in sermons that, “To miss the mark is the fundamental meaning of ’sin.’”

Mostly I have great hopes for next year because I see my friends pursuing abundant life in Christ. Also, I enjoy watching romance bloom in the midst of pursuing obedience to the Lord. What great joy the Lord has granted to me!

Published in: on December 5, 2008 at 8:35 am Comments (1)
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Music and emotions…again

Once again, music has accomplished its God ordained function of aiding the expression of my emotions. Of late, for several reasons, my emotions have been somewhat flat…I feel as though I haven’t really been feeling much of anything.

But now, the playing of and listening to music has stirred my heart to a more healthy place. As I sit listening to Fernando Ortega sing “Let All Mortal Flesh” (a song I played on my violin a few days ago under the title “Coventry Carol”), I am moved to gratitude and love for my Savior. My heart begins to beat slightly faster; warmth overcomes me; a slight smile curls my lips; I can sense my eyes brighten and my affections rise.

Moreover, I have been able to express a number of emotions over the past few days that I have experienced over the past several months, but have previously not been able to express. Unexpressed emotions damage my heart. I have been able to articulate love to my wife more clearly. I have also been steady and gentle with a needed rebuke for which she thanked me most genuinely.

And I have felt hot anger. This I do not enjoy like the others, but the expression, the exhaustion of it has been refreshing. Hopefully, it is well-received.

Published in: on November 24, 2008 at 12:53 pm Leave a Comment
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God-ordained happiness…

God has seen fit to use various means to bring happiness to people.

Today, several things have led me to rejoice.

My violin brings me joy. Specifically, that my fingers remember what to do with a violin brings me joy.

Eating meat with men brings me joy.

Studying the Scriptures with men (the same ones with whom I ate the meat…plus one) brings me joy.

Praying with and for brothers and sisters in Christ brings me great joy. I find praying for the absentee junior high pastor tonight to be most joyful.

My wife brings me joy…on many levels. Tonight, similar to above, I find praying for my wife to be most joyful.

Published in: on November 20, 2008 at 11:57 pm Comments (1)
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excitement…

I am more excited right now than I have been in a long time, perhaps since my wedding day.

I have never experienced such dreams, such hope for the future.

I am realizing that there are two things for which and in which God gives me passion: 1) preaching the Scriptures (which is equal, in my understanding, to preaching Christ) and 2) writing about the Gospel (which is equal, in my understanding, to writing about Christ).

Thanks be to God for giving such passions to men!

Published in: on at 7:49 am Leave a Comment

Well….

I need a stirring within myself.

Writing has often helped.

But I must keep it brief. Life is cluttered already.

Practicing conciseness is important in times like these.

So…

I shall say more, but write less.

Maybe.

Violin?

Published in: on November 19, 2008 at 10:19 pm Comments (1)

Christ is all!

Yes, this is my arm. And, yes, this is a very real, very permanent tattoo.

Colossians 3:9-11 says, “Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.

Paul is here highlighting the behavior that ought to characterize followers of Jesus and the behavior that ought not to characterize followers of Jesus. The point of Colossians 3 seems to be that people ought to be able to tell the difference between believers and non-believers. The life of the Christian is to be distinct from the life of the non-Christian. Followers of Christ are not just adherents to a particular religions; rather, followers of Christ are completely new creations who are progressively being molded into the image of Jesus Christ himself. At the close of this verse, Paul reminds his readers that former racial/ethnic distinctions, social distinctions, cultural distinctions all mean absolutely nothing in God’s economy. Christ is all that matters. My arm now bears this statement, permanently etched into my skin as a testimony (more to myself than to anyone else, though it has already served as a springboard for sharing with others) that Jesus Christ is the only thing that matters. The words are in the Greek of Paul’s original writing to the Colossians, though I have altered the word order slightly. Literally, it could be rendered, “Christ is all things,” in order to emphasize that the second word, “panta,” is plural. It is a reminder to me that the only thing that matters is Christ. Paul was eager to remind many of his readers, not just in the letter to the Colossian church, of the centrality of Christ. First Corinthians 15:3, for example, refers to Paul’s perception of the very heart of the gospel when he says, “For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures.” The person and work of Christ on our behalf is the heart of the gospel that cannot be omitted, sidelined, or brushed over. For Paul, (and I think all believers ought to imitate Paul here), to live was Christ (Phil. 1:21). Christ is truly all that matters; we must live in such a way that the world knows that Christ is all to us. He is our treasure, he is the one we cannot stop speaking about, he is the one that dominates our thoughts and our conduct. Indeed, in Colossians 3, Paul commands believers to “seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth” (Col. 3:2-3). We must “take every thought captive to obey Christ,” and this means that we must work hard to train our minds to bring Christ and his word to bear on everything that comes in our lives (2 Cor. 10:5). This text in 2 Corinthians deals particularly with protecting our minds from being deceived by false teachings, but I think it has a broader application and relates to the thought expressed in Colossians 3. Our minds, naturally, have a tendency to wander and are drawn to vain things, useless things, even harmful things. We must, by the power of the Holy Spirit living in each of us as believers, train our minds to focus on Christ. Even as our minds do wander to think of all kinds of things, we must be quick to bring Christ to bear on whatever comes to our minds. As we are able to do that with our minds, our life becomes more oriented toward Christ and what would be pleasing to him. No more vanity; no more wasting our lives thinking of things that don’t matter at all. Instead, let our minds be intent on worshiping our great High Priest who sits at the right hand of God as our Advocate, ever and always interceding for us as we continue to struggle with sin in this life (see 1 John 2:1-2).

So, I have a tattoo to remind me of what is important. Some may thing this foolish or childish or some other negative -ish word. However, I am quite pleased with it as a permanent reminder of the gospel which has permanently changed my life and continues to change my life. Even more irrevocable than the marks of this tattoo on my body are the irrevocable affects that Jesus Christ has on my life every day. To him be all glory!

Published in: on May 11, 2008 at 6:56 am Leave a Comment

is my Theology strong enough for this?

I have spent this semester studying the book of Revelation. I just completed working through this magnificent literary masterpiece, with its every word breathed out by the Holy Spirit and penned by the apostle John, for the third time since January. I spent the better part of last week researching for and writing a paper entitled “The Blood of Jesus in the Revelation of John,” in which I attempted to show how John emphasizes the atonement of Jesus Christ in order to encourage his readers to persevere in the midst of terrible persecution. In fact, I think the book of Revelation portrays the heart of the gospel, namely the substitutionary death of Jesus Christ in place of sinners, more vividly and more centrally than it shines forth the beautiful reality of his imminent glorious return!

One passage of which I have become quite fond in recent days is:

Revelation 12:10-12–And I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, “Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God. And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death. Therefore, rejoice, O heavens and you who dwell in them! But woe to you, O earth and sea, for the devil has come down to you in great wrath, because he knows that his time is short!”

Ah, Satan has been defeated, totally conquered! John has just been shown a microcosm of the climax of redemptive history with a vision of a woman pregnant with a son. The great red dragon would have devoured the son, but he was taken up to heaven. This is a picture of Jesus Christ, the Messiah’s birth, and then the vision skips all the way ahead to his ascension to the Father. Then, John was shown that the dragon fought a great war in heaven with Michael the archangel, and the dragon was defeated and cast down to earth. But verses 10-12 reveal what truly defeated the dragon and it wasn’t Michael and his angelic army. The focus of this victory song is actually on believers, those who benefit from the victory. Note that the voice proclaims that it is the accuser of the brothers who has been cast down, so the herald here has particularly the accusing power of the devil in mind. We see this role of Satan most plainly in the account of Job in the Old Testament, but we may assume that he actually has functioned similarly toward other people throughout history. Verse 11 notes that “they” have conquered the accuser, referring to the brothers who were formerly accused. But it is not on their own strength that they have overcome the great accuser. It is, first of all, by the blood of the Lamb that the great accuser has been thrown down. This refers back to Jesus’ death on the cross, for it is that moment in history that the great accuser lost his power to accuse. The substitutionary death of Jesus accomplished redemption with the price of his blood, and as he purchased for God a people from every tribe and language and people and nation (see Rev. 5:9), the accuser lost his accusatory power against those purchased. Indeed, this is how the second part of verse 11 shows its function, for the word of testimony mentioned is nothing other than the gospel believed and proclaimed. These in particular have clung to the gospel so tightly that they have not seen their very lives as worth keeping. One may recall Jesus’ words, “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” (Matt. 10:39, 16:25). Or perhaps Paul’s words: “‘For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.’ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us” (Rom. 8:36-37).
I shall include some relevant thoughts for current events.
I’m not certain where I am going in life. I’m not certain of whether my wife will find joy in her work…ever. I’m not certain of whether or not she will be able to get a job soon enough for us to be “financially stable” as I begin graduate school. I’m not certain that we will be able to pay the bills that are coming. I’m not certain that I am cut out for graduate school. I’m not certain that I will live through this night, for even this is not guaranteed and should not be taken for granted (see Luke 12:16-21).
Of one thing I AM CERTAIN: “Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures” (1 Cor. 15:3). Good news. What else do I need to be certain about? If this is true, I should not even shrink from death itself, for it has no claim on me, since he has died in my place. The beauty of atonement, the beauty of the gospel. In that one man’s death, the devil was conquered, death itself was conquered, sin was conquered, and reconciliation with God was effected for rebellious sinners like me.

“The Gospel” by Jimmy Needham
The Gospel, the Gospel
Fragrance in words
The sea of my soul
Is calmed when it’s heard
Peace to the broken
The captives set free
May the Gospel of Jesus
Wash over me

The Gospel, the Gospel
My freedom explained
No more shall these garments
I’m wearing be stained
The old man is missing
The new man is free
May the Gospel of Jesus
Wash over me

Wash over me
Wash over me
Come make me clean
Wash

The Gospel, the Gospel
She’s good and she’s true
She cost quite a fortune
To make all things new
So breathe in with faith
And out with his peace
May the Gospel of Jesus
Wash over me

Published in: on April 15, 2008 at 10:15 pm Comments (2)

the Lord is moving…always

In recent days, I have been selling books. Not just any books, like I used to do when I worked for LifeWay Christian Store (oh, how good the past tense verb in that clause feels!); rather, I have been selling my own books. If someone asked me why I am selling books, I would probably be able to conjure up some answers about needing some extra cash or lightening the load if I am commanded to move in the near future. But as I ask myself the question, I am uncertain that those are the real, bottom-line answers. Perhaps, there is a more fundamental reason why the Lord would have me to be selling books, right now, at this particular time in my life. Everyone who knows me well could characterize me as a bibliophile, and rightfully so. My living room walls are quite literally covered with books. Maybe the Lord is pleased when I redecorate…

 This week has been a trying week for Tamara and me. My beloved wife expresses her frustrations as we have stepped forward, ever so feebly by faith, making contact with a hospital in Wheaton. In addition, we have e-mailed someone who works at Wheaton College (2 different people, now that I think of it) to seek advice as to what the nursing landscape looks like in the area. We have received no replies as of the time of this posting. No return phone calls. No e-mail responses. While at work, she calls me to see if we have received anything in our inbox, and my negative response elicits a sigh from my wife and trepidation-filled words like, “Well, God must be closing the door.” My poor attempt at encouragement probably sounds to her like a rebuke, and perhaps it is a rebuke as I am hard-pressed to find the distinction between rebuke and encouragement sometimes. “Patience, my dear. We must be patient. Let us not draw conclusions from silence.” Is my statement full of faith or does it disclose my own insecurity about it all?
Oh, Lord, help us to wait on you. You are moving; you are never idle. And you have us exactly where you want us. And you will take us where you want us to be when you want us to be there. Take us soon…

Is it possible that in selling some of my books the Lord might be setting me free from some obsession that I have? Maybe. I must acknowledge, however, that I have been extremely selective as to which books I am selling. Only books that I now think I will never have the least desire to read, or that I have already read and feel that I can no longer glean anything from them are to be discarded. Still, perhaps the Lord is taking me somewhere in my faith but only a small step at a time. Ah, how kind he is! His goodness overflows even as he is gently tearing me apart. ‘Tis for my sanctification.

Published in: on April 3, 2008 at 10:31 pm Comments (1)

the richness (and importance) of music in my life

For the past few days I have been listening to a lot of music. For many, music is a major part of their lives every day. I see more and more people walking around in the grocery store and across campus with earbuds in place attached to an iPod with their favorite tunes drowning out the world around them. But perhaps it is more than just drowning out the world that they are seeking. My friends note that I am very picky about music. Others say that I just have bad taste in music, and I’m not sure which is the better assessment. I also have been called opinionated about the way I determine what I would call good music versus not good music. Most of the people with whom I dare to speak about music, frankly, do not have explicit criteria by which they evaluate music to determine its goodness. Maybe that is the way it is supposed to be. Maybe not.

At any rate, I find that I evaluate music according to two distinct standards: lyrics and musicality. Now, in my mind, these are not equal standards; I do elevate lyrical depth above musicality, which means that I like some music that really isn’t that spectacular as far as the blending of instrumentation or the talent of the singer/musicians is concerned but has lyrics that are either rich in their depth of expression and/or excellent poetry. The question, however, arises in my mind, is music meant to be judged in these ways? Music is essentially poetry set to a rhythm. (As I write this, I ponder my legitimacy to make any judgments.) Music could also be rhythm without lyrics. The Lord has blessed me with some musical talent; I play the violin and have been playing for 13 years. (Gosh, that makes me feel old! Such a long time ago!) I was concert master of my high school orchestra and earned places in our regional competitions every year. And our high school orchestras were consistently among the top orchestras of the state of Texas, since we had the best director. So, as far as genres of music are concerned, I intensely enjoy classical music, having acquired a taste for it having performed classical music for years–though we were also known to play Beatles music from time to time! When lyrics are included, I seek music that exalts Jesus Christ. I think the primary purpose that God created man with a heart that longs to express itself in the form of music is to worship him. Now, that does not necessarily mean that I only enjoy so-called “praise and worship songs.” As I sit here, (at least at this moment, until the track switches), I am listening to Derek Webb sing a song entitled “I Repent.” Why do I enjoy this song; why do I think it is a “good” song? The rhythm evokes certain emotions from me. Fundamentally, music is an expression of the emotions of the singers/musicians. But music also has the power to draw out emotions from its listeners. Therefore, when I declare a song to be good, what I mean essentially is that the rhythms and blending of instrumentation works with the lyrics to elicit from me an appropriate emotional response. What is an appropriate response? Well, what emotions was the song written to convey? This is the question that I think most people in our day and age do not care to ask. Music, like any other composition, is meant to be interpreted however the listener desires to interpret it. So, the postmodern mentality says that a song may be interpreted however any individual wishes to interpret it, just as a text may be interpreted any way an individual wishes to interpret it. I disagree. Texts have authors who wrote what they wrote to convey certain ideas. Those ideas are the ideas readers of texts should be seeking. Now, texts may also convey emotional overtones that an author may intend for the readers to feel and experience, but I think music is able to do this much more effectively. Words have certain connotations that do convey a certain element of emotion, and stringing words together in certain ways, as exemplified in poetry for example, should draw out from a reader of poetry certain emotional responses. Music adds another element to the mixture, with sounds and rhythms that (should) aid the lyrics in conveying a certain emotion that the musician desires to convey. Musicians are communicators who emphasize the communication of emotions. They (I think, for the most part anyway) desire to share with others emotions that they have experienced in order to give expression to experience. When a listener relates to the experience of the musician, the listener is better able to experience the emotion that the musician intends to convey.

The Psalms are songs collected into a book. These psalms are not all the same, as is often assumed. These songs are the emotional expressions of a thousand different emotions, and not all of the emotions expressed in these songs are positive “Oh, how I love Jesus” kinds of lyrics. Sometimes, when I read them, I try to imagine what the accompaniment might have sounded like to each of the psalms, to help me feel what the writer was trying to convey. When David says, “Contend, O Lord, with those who contend with me; fight against those who fight against me!” in Psalm 35, I do not imagine that the accompaniment is light and gentle. I imagine a fast-paced, aggressive, panicky style of accompaniment. David is expressing his desire for God to take vengeance on David’s enemies. He is crying out for the Lord to act in judgment. He goes on to ask the Lord, “How long, O Lord, will you look on? Rescue me from their destruction, my precious life from the lions!” David is desperate for God to act on his behalf. He is pleading with the Lord to hurry. These are not just angry poetry; each was written to be sung, and the collection of psalms that we have in our Bibles is the hymn book of the Jewish people. And so it should also be our hymn book as Christians. In it, we find true confessions, expressions of anger against God, expressions of the deepest questions a man could ever ask, feelings of fear and hopelessness, and also the deepest expressions of worship, adoration, praise, thankfulness, and faith in the God who breathed out these words to be recorded for all time, for our instruction and our edification.

Oh, I have gone on a tangent! My point is supposed to be that I love music and I need music in my life. Often, I forget that and go weeks and even months without just sitting with my iPod playing music. I am worse for the wear during these times because I do not express my emotions very well. Most men do not. I think that is one of the beauties of music; it helps us men express our emotions. For me, I would have to say that often it helps me feel my emotions! The heart of a man is much more complex than we would like to admit, the deep things that go on in a man’s heart need expression just as much as anything else. I think the reason our expressions of anger often come out so aggressively and so surprisingly to ourselves and those who witness our outbursts is because we do not practice expressing all of our emotions. Music helps me do this. I try to identify what I need to express and select my music to cultivate those emotions. Also, as a side note, it is interesting that the Lord so often commands our emotions in the Bible. The Lord often commands that we rejoice, commands that we love, commands that we feel sorrow. I am unable to conjure up those feelings sometimes because I am so focused on my circumstances. Well, if I am feeling depressed, for example, and I know that I need to figure out some way to be rejoicing, I can play some music that has lyrics that remind me of God’s faithfulness and has instrumentation that is upbeat and exciting, and then I can often move from depression to joy! In fact, good music might remedy much depression in the church.

Published in: on March 22, 2008 at 8:46 am Comments (2)

About the username…

Explanation of my username, and thus the first part of the url for this blog, is in order.

It is two Greek words found in the New Testament in different places and in different contexts. I have put these two words together for to reflect a New Testament idea that was usually expressed in different ways. Moros is an adjective usually translated “foolish.” Kerux is a noun translated different ways, identifying one who heralds or announces a message (a.k.a. a preacher). Hence, I am the foolish preacher. This is not so much meant to say anything about my or any other preacher’s abilities, wisdom, or lack thereof. Rather, the phrase is indicative of the message itself that I am created to herald. Check out 1 Corinthians 1:21 and 23, which focuses on both the method of delivery and the evaluation of the gospel by hearers: “For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God through the folly of what we preach [lit. the folly of preaching] to save those who believe….We preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly [or foolishness] to Gentiles.” I cannot only teach the Scriptures; God enlivens me with his word and I must lift up my voice and proclaim his news to the world, believers and unbelievers alike!

Published in: on March 18, 2008 at 9:03 pm Leave a Comment